I have had Autism all my life though I have only been diagnosed through education as a mature student, I have had PTSD since the age of 17. I was first diagnosed with Dyslexia at the age of 13 in high school.
I do not really see my dyslexia or autism as disabilities, they are part of who I am, they are the unique way in which my brain works and they, really are my creative core. They do cause me some limitations, my spelling and grammar are not good, I have lots of sensory issues and I experience burnout when I try to cope in a neurotypical world in a way which is deemed ‘fitting in’ but left to live in my own way and avoiding triggers I live a life I would not wish to trade for neurotypicality.
My PTSD however is most certainly a disability, the only positives I can think of are that feeling so incredibly horrendous when I have relapses has helped me to become a more empathetic, patient and caring person to others because we really don’t know what others go through and it could be so terrible we cant imagine so I believe everyone deserves compassion. Other than that it makes me physically and mentally ill. Night terrors, flashbacks, fatigue and severe exhaustion, numerous triggers, twitches, nerve issues, developmental damage to areas of the brain due to PTSD occurring before the brain was fully developed at the age of 25, anxiety and depression.
I have had therapies some which felt more like going through motions and some which actually really helped me to process and grow. Some like exposure therapy I ended up doing myself since I couldn’t afford it privately.
The thing is that the PTSD I have will never leave me, its always there and I have good days and bad days and a lot of the time things still crop up that I need to process and work through. What has always worked (for me) like therapy, helping me to make sense of my feelings, emotions and physical responses is to take the negative input I have and create a positive output.
I cannot change the past, I cannot erase of forget it, I cannot make it better, it is an experience which I can never loose, it is a part of my life I have to live with but its horrible. What really helps is to take that horror and make something, whilst thinking about or actually referencing in the work what I am struggling with, which is beautiful, thoughtful or educational. Something which adds to the world rather than subtracting from it.
So this is what a lot of my work is, mostly its origination is never apparent in the finished work and I like that. To show what I am dealing with feels like passing it on and keeping it alive but to take that and almost transform it like a chrysalis into a butterfly feels like healing. It feels like that nastiness has been changed into something I can deal with, something that I can be happy with or even proud of.
I am not saying that this would work for everyone, but for me creativity helps me to stay grounded and present and moving forward with my life. Creativity saves me.